this month we offer a love language. Next month we sit with
tread
Submission guidelines can be found here.
One of my love languages
is cleaning the kitchen
without being asked.
One of those good cleans too.
Not just the surface,
how some people take a sponge and run it over everything.
No, I do a little grand gesture.
Where I wash and dry all the dishes and sanitize the countertops
and get the metallic stainless steel to shine and take out the garbage and sweep the floor.
Crashing on a friend’s couch,
I cleaned the kitchen before she came over to cook for us.
Not my kitchen, not my house.
I wanted to go out of my way
to make her evening easier.
To casually be around—as if the universe brought us together—
But it was me.
Longing to be more than just a friend of a friend.
Trying to get close,
to wiggle in and make some room for myself.
For a few minutes, a day, a dinner—
for a moment alone with you,
in a clean kitchen—
I saw you clearly & I forgot my heartbreak & I thought you saw me too & in that moment the pain eased away & we smiled & there wasn’t even any sun, but I saw it come in through the window & consume you & I helped you cook & then when dinner was done you served me first & later I called you beautiful with or without glasses in front of everyone & I meant it & I meant it when I put my arm around you in the Uber in Atlantic City & I meant every terrible word I said in my drunken rage of how I wanted to fuck you & now everything’s fucked & I am so sorry that my bad parts crept in & I don’t even know if I’ll see you again & I sometimes think about you & I feel crazy ‘cause how could I make this all up in my head—but I guess you’re just a friend of a friend & maybe I should have more direct love languages that don’t include scrubbing countertops & taking out the trash.
Tee Pace is an educator, writer, photographer, and pet sitter living in Sedona, Arizona. Tee is originally from Staten Island, New York. She went to public schools. Tee has completed a poetry chapbook about different types of love and is working on a memoir set on the road about queerness, self-love, and starting over. Her poems and photos can be found online at The Write Launch and Half and One.
this month we offer a love language. Next month we sit with
tread
Submission guidelines can be found here.
One of my love languages
is cleaning the kitchen
without being asked.
One of those good cleans too.
Not just the surface,
how some people take a sponge and run it over everything.
No, I do a little grand gesture.
Where I wash and dry all the dishes and sanitize the countertops
and get the metallic stainless steel to shine and take out the garbage and sweep the floor.
Crashing on a friend’s couch,
I cleaned the kitchen before she came over to cook for us.
Not my kitchen, not my house.
I wanted to go out of my way
to make her evening easier.
To casually be around—as if the universe brought us together—
But it was me.
Longing to be more than just a friend of a friend.
Trying to get close,
to wiggle in and make some room for myself.
For a few minutes, a day, a dinner—
for a moment alone with you,
in a clean kitchen—
I saw you clearly & I forgot my heartbreak & I thought you saw me too & in that moment the pain eased away & we smiled & there wasn’t even any sun, but I saw it come in through the window & consume you & I helped you cook & then when dinner was done you served me first & later I called you beautiful with or without glasses in front of everyone & I meant it & I meant it when I put my arm around you in the Uber in Atlantic City & I meant every terrible word I said in my drunken rage of how I wanted to fuck you & now everything’s fucked & I am so sorry that my bad parts crept in & I don’t even know if I’ll see you again & I sometimes think about you & I feel crazy ‘cause how could I make this all up in my head—but I guess you’re just a friend of a friend & maybe I should have more direct love languages that don’t include scrubbing countertops & taking out the trash.
Tee Pace is an educator, writer, photographer, and pet sitter living in Sedona, Arizona. Tee is originally from Staten Island, New York. She went to public schools. Tee has completed a poetry chapbook about different types of love and is working on a memoir set on the road about queerness, self-love, and starting over. Her poems and photos can be found online at The Write Launch and Half and One.
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